so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
