i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
