we have officially lost it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
