Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
