Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
