Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
