I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
