Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
