is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
