Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
