I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize