mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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