I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
