I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
