I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
