there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
