in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
