maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
