I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
