Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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