May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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