You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
