I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
