i don't like sucking hair
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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