And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
