he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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