she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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