I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
