We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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