so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
