Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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