oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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