Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
