lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
