I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
