i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
