google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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