Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
