Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
