she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
