i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize