Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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