just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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