someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
