And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So. Much. Porn.
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