okay pat passed out under dana's car
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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