No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
