their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you traded sex for a burrito?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
