just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
