The best revenge is premature balding
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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