i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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