I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
