Can Purell be used as lube?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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