I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
