I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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