Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
