This is not my ceiling
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
do nipples grow back?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
