Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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