More tranny stories later!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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