"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
