There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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