Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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