speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize