First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
